Breathe
Introduction:
Content Warning: This story gets very dark and deals with disturbing themes. Those easily disturbed or dealing with trauma presently might not enjoy this particular story. I tried something new with this and I’d love to hear any feedback you have.
Me? No, Iâm just another student. Like you. Psychology, actually. I donât really know what Iâm going to do with it yet, but I think thatâs okay for any girl in college to not know. Or boy. Why, do you know what you want to do with your life?
Wow. Thatâs so cool. It sounds like youâve got it all figured out. I wish I was like you. Youâre so confident. Where do you get that energy?
Whatever. The book can stay closed. Iâm having too much fun talking to you. Tell me more about your goals. I love when people know what they want. Especially when they work hard and take it, you know? Iâm going to be like that someday. I kind of already am. I donât take shit from anyone. Life hits me, I hit back harder.
Hey, do you have a cell phone number? I guess thatâs a stupid question, everyone has a cell phone. Yeah, I feel like we should stay in touch. This was way too cool to just leave to a chance encounter, you know? Yeah. Iâll text you.
Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet me a second time. Yeah, I actually donât know too many people here. No, this is my third year too, I just transferred here from another college. Yeah, exactly, I know like no one here. Woah, you study in groups? Thatâs so cool. Whoâs in the group, can I join?
Oh.
No, itâs neat you have a girlfriend. Whatâs her name? Thatâs a nice name. How long have you been together? Wow, that takes dedication, especially when youâre both in college. Iâm proud of you. Not everyone is willing to stick together like that. Who are your other friends? Thatâs cool.
Wow, theyâre so good to you. They really respect you. You must have earned their respect, huh? Howâd you do that? Oh, wow. You have quite a history. So what were you like before college? Just keep talking. This is all really interesting.
Wow. Thatâs dark. Youâre so strong for getting through all that. Youâre so brave. Hey. Breathe. Itâs okay. We all have our demons, right? Howâd you manage to deal with that? That would make so many people crazy. Youâre so strong. Me? Iâm not scared. Mental health is my passion. Keep telling me more. Iâm so proud of you for being so open, so vulnerable. No, I wonât tell anyone about this.
Thanks for letting me come over. No, Iâm not okay. Iâm having a bad night. You understand that, right? You understand stuff like this. Youâve lived through so much. You deserve love so much. Thank you for letting me stay. Could you hold me a little closer? Yeah, like that. I just need to unload all of the stuff thatâs been going on in my life. Youâre so sweet. Thank you for listening. No, I havenât been through a lot, youâve been through a lot. Why are you supporting me like this when so much has gone wrong in your life? Youâre amazing. Kiss me.
Breathe. Itâs okay. This can stay between us. Of course I didnât invite myself over just to seduce you. The kiss just kind of happened. Well⊠did you enjoy it? Really? I enjoyed it too. Yeah, I know itâs wrong. I donât know what sheâd say. She doesnât have to know. No, I wonât tell anyone about this. Kiss me again.
I donât know. I think Iâm just scared and vulnerable tonight. No, youâre not taking advantage of me. Youâre sweet. I wanted this. I want this. Letâs keep texting.
How was class? Thatâs good. Mine was okay. I couldnât pay attention to it much. What do you mean, âwhyâ? No reason. Okay, fine. I was thinking about last night. Yeah, the kiss. I canât get it out of my mind. Wow, really? You wanted to go even further? Youâre so confident. Okay, fine, me too. Hey, I can want people too. I may look innocent but we all have our naughtier sides, right?
Yeah, I guess you look pretty innocent too. What? Youâre not? How so?
Wow. Really? I never would have guessed you had that much experience. I mean, okay, fine, youâre cute. Hot. But you didnât seem like⊠You call yourself a slut? Wow. Thatâs so bold. I like it. I can be kind of slutty too, you know. Everyone can. Itâs always the ones you donât suspect. I totally didnât suspect you.
So if youâre such a manslut, what have you done? Wow, really? Anything youâve always wanted to try? Ooh, Iâve always wanted to try public sex. This is so naughty. Iâve never texted anyone like this before. Yes, youâre the first. Me? Well, Iâve had sex in my car before with my last boyfriend. He was okay. He could never get me off though. I think he was kind of small. Am I a size queen? Like three inches. Yeah. How big are you?
Oh fuck, yes. Show me. Hereâs my Snapchat.
Wow. Thatâs impressive. I bet your girlfriend loves that. What? Really? What, does she not like sex? Thatâs weird. So how many times? Youâve been together a few years, right? Only around four times? Total? Thatâs so tragic. If you werenât in a relationship I would like toâŠ
Well, youâre just going to have to finish that sentence yourself, arenât you? Oh. You did. Oh, and you added more. Youâre so confident. I want to be confident like you.
Well, I donât know what I should start with. I guess⊠can you keep a secret? Iâm good at getting what I want from people. Itâs kind of fucked up, but it feels so nice when people have a crush on you and you use that. You feel the same way? Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to call me a freak or something. Aww, youâre so sweet. It does feel so good to be desired.
Yeah, I desire you too. I want you. I just feel bad because you have a girlfriend and all these friends and Iâm getting closer with them, and it feels like Iâm doing something bad⊠well, I guess weâre doing something bad. But I think I kind of like feeling bad. Iâve never done anything like this before. Iâve never wanted something like this before.
Hell yes I want to continue. In fact, do you want to meet up tonight? I want that too. In fact, I want to tell you exactly what I want. Yeah, Iâm going to take control now. I want you to know just how badly I want you. Iâve been playing coy with you for a while, and I love it when you take control and be the pervert, but I want to play the pervert too.
When you told me about your public fetish it turned me on so much. I had this idea of us in a classroom together. Weâre just listening to a lecture, at a desk, side by side, and you slide your hand in between my thighs. I gasp slightly and look around the room, but you donât. Youâre too bold to do that. You just take what you want, like I do. Your hands donât immediately reach for my pussy, they just stroke my thigh. Youâre such a tease, just like when youâre sexting. I get so wet thinking about what youâre going to do to me. I bite my lip while looking you in the eye and suppress my moans, all while you give me that cocky confident smirk. Youâre so fucking hot. I want you so badly.
Who cares about the rest of the fantasy? Iâm hot now. I want to come over. Weâre adults, arenât we? We know what we want. We donât have to lie to ourselves. Are you really going to stop the inevitable? Whoâs going to find out? Iâll never tell anyone. This can be our secret.
Fuck yes. Iâm coming over right now. Iâll text you when Iâve arrived. Iâm here. I was thinking about you the entire drive over. Breathe. Do you like my perfume? I wanted to pick my most alluring and sexy perfume for tonight. I want you to get addicted to me like I am to you. Youâre so fucking hot.
Letâs go to your room. We both know what weâre after. Are you going to make me say it? I want your cock, baby. Give it to me. Please. Here, I can get on my knees and take off your pants for you, but I get to kiss you first. Oops, how silly of me. When I said âkiss you,â I meant, âshove you against a wall and make out with you while you grab my hips.â Not that youâre complaining, are you? I bet you love my hips. Other students stare at me when I walk down the hallways. They love my hips so much, they almost donât notice my breasts. But I bet you notice them, donât you?
Mm, thatâs what I thought. Do you want to see them? Sit down on the bed. Because Iâm going to give you a little strip-tease, silly. Do you like how I look in just a bra and jeans? I bet youâll like it even more when the bra comes off. Beg me for it. Tell me how passionate you are. Make it clear you want my big tits in your face just as badly as I want your cock in my mouth.
Good boy. And off comes the bra. What do you think? Yeah, I like my nipples too. Theyâre just just for seeing, you know. Get off the bed. Feel them.
Oh, wow. Your touch is so gentle. I wasnât expecting that. No, in a good way. You know exactly how to caress them. God, this is so hot. I knew I wanted to do this with you for a while. Yeah, well, I like playing the tease. It paid off, didnât it?
Kiss me again. Grab my ass like you mean it. Grind back up against me. This is so much hotter than with your girlfriend, isnât it? Itâs her loss for not worshipping this cock every day. Speaking of, that monster has been in your pants for far too long. I want to finally see it in person.
Ha, okay. Iâll get on the bed. Show me if you can do a better strip-tease than I can. God damn, yes. Take that shirt off. Do you work out? Yeah, it definitely shows. Hey, no covering up, mister. Be proud of that body.
Oh. Right. Hey, breathe. Donât think about your demons. Even if you feel that way about yourself, think about how badly someone else wants you. Ignore your demons. Mental health is my passion, and Iâm going to take such good care of you. Yeah, strut your stuff. There you go. I like it when you think your body is hot. Now take it out.
Fuck yes. Iâm sorry, I canât help myself. Strip tease over, I need that in my mouth right fucking now. Mmh, it tastes even better than I hoped. Yeah, cheesy line, I know. I just wanted you so fucking badly, sue me. If you donât like how I talk, tell me to leave.
Ha, thatâs what I thought. Now let me see how much of you I can get in my mouth. Let me run my hands up and down your legs. Fuck, I canât get enough of you. Youâre so fucking hot. Do you want to wait any longer? I sure as hell donât. Well then letâs get on the bed. God, Iâve been waiting for this for so long. Okay, fine, yes, I had a crush on you. Was I planning this since the beginning? I guess thatâs for me to know and you to maybe find out. Do you always talk this much before fucking a girl? Then get over here, my legs are open for you, show me if youâre as good as those stories you sext me.
Alright, letâs fucking do this. Yes, I want this. Youâre sweet for checking. I appreciate that. Slide it in.
Oh my god. You feel even better than I imagined when we were calling and I was touching myself. Yes, I was touching myself when you called me. Is that weird? Keep fucking me. Call me a freak. Iâm your freak, Iâm your little perverted girl. Iâm such a bad girl. Fuck. Fuck me against the wall. Fuck me from behind. Pull my hair. God, I love the way you pull me close to kiss me. Itâs so passionate. I bet youâd be so passionate with the right girlfriend.
Mm, do you like my pussy? I know, Iâm so tight. Iâm tighter than most girls. And I have these hips and breasts. Itâs like I was made to be fucked. You should take advantage of that. Yeah, suck my nipploes as you fuck me. Yes, rub my clit. Youâre so good at this. Iâm so glad weâre doing this. Tell me youâre glad weâre doing this too. Mm, good.
Fuck, where do you want to finish? You can finish wherever you want. On my face, on my tits⊠inside me? Wow, thatâs so kinky. Yeah, Iâm on the pill. Cum inside me. We can imagine Iâm not on the pill and weâre risking me getting pregnant. Ooh, is that a fetish of yours? Itâs a fetish of mine too. Unh, so sexy. Oh my god. Oh fuck. Itâs happening. Itâs actually happening. When I first met you I hoped this would happen, oh fuck, itâs even better than I imagined, oh my god. Here it comes. I can feel it building.
Fuck.
I can feel it filling me up. Your loads are so big. Is this because your girlfriend never fucks you? We need to change that. If I were your girlfriend Iâd be fucking you every day. Youâre way too good at sex to be in a sexless relationship. Wow, that was so amazing. I needed that. Can I⊠stay and cuddle for a bit? I totally understand if it feels weird now. Breathe. No, I donât think weâre bad people. Morality is just weird. Do you feel bad? Thatâs understandable. I can totally accept it if you want us to stop.
Ha. Yeah, I donât want to stop either. What does that make us? Whatever. Keep spooning me. Breathe. I love the way your chest moves as you breathe. God, youâre such a hunk. Iâm so glad I met you. Yeah, Iâll text you when I get home. You have a good night too. Thanks for the ride.
Itâs been on my mind all day. No, no, in a good way. I want to do it again. What? Second thoughts? Um⊠no. Itâs fine. I just thought⊠no, no, itâs cool. Yeah, of course I still would want to hang out with you even if you never wanted to do it again. Do you never want to do it again? I can respect that. Well, letâs say itâs a soft no for now, and in the future⊠who knows? Hey, Iâm not judging you.
Hey, want to go get lunch today? I just like hanging out with you so much. Youâre such a cool friend. What? That night? Oh wow, I havenât thought about that in so long. Yeah, of course. No, Iâm totally fine with us only being friends now. Iâm not going to say I didnât love it but I totally respect your boundaries. I havenât told her anything, no. Why, is she acting out? Oh, acting normally. Well, good for her. Whatâs normally anyway, howâs she acting these days?
Yikes. That doesnât sound normal at all. No, Iâm being serious. That sounds weird. Why would she say something like that? Sheâs totally undermining you. Not the type? Maybe sheâs sneaky or has a hidden agenda or something.
Why would I lie to you about that? What would I have to gain from that? Itâs not like weâre having sex anymore. Iâm just being honest. It sounds like sheâs not being good to you. Whatever, believe what you want, Iâm just saying from an outsiderâs position that it sounds like sheâs not being good to you. Hey, want to hang out on Saturday?
Hey, good to see you. Class was stupid. Thank you for going on this walk with me. No, life is hard. I was, uh, totally dating this guy. Yup. Youâve never heard of him? What a coincidence. Yeah, he was cartoonishly bad to me. He kept saying these things that I know you in particular will react angrily to. Yup, he definitely actually said that to me. Why do I never get good luck with guys? Except you, of course. Oh, I know, not in that way. I just mean because youâre such a good friend. Yeah. No, I donât even think about it. I just really thought this guy would be different. All men are the same. Except you. Iâm so lucky to have you. No, yeah, as a friend. Sheâs really lucky to have you as a boyfriend, though. Howâs she been? Oh, thatâs weird. Sounds distant. No, it doesnât sound like thatâs how she always is, I have a womanâs instinct, trust me. Did you do something to piss her off? Really? It sure sounds like it. No, I donât think itâs nothing. Maybe you should talk to her about it, tell her you notice it, or something.
Hey! So good to see you. When I invited you out to this party, I didnât think youâd actually say yes. Well, I donât know, you donât seem like the partying type. See? I knew it. So then whyâd you come? Uh oh. Had to get out of the house, huh? Whatâs up?
I told you. I thought something was going on. Did you talk to her? Good. What happened? She got weirded out and said nothing was wrong, but then got distant, huh? Told you. It sounds like sheâs hiding something. It is not a good sign when Iâm spending more time with you than she is. Like, for her. Iâm not saying anything about me. I donât want to stop hanging out with you. Do you want to? There, see? No problem. Want a drink? There you go.
So what else has been going on in your life? Oh, jeez. The bad stuff never seems to stop with you, does it? Youâre so brave. Youâre so admirable. Want another drink? Yeah, no problem. I know the guy throwing the party.
Nah, thatâs just the way I talk to people. You have to schmooze a little at parties to get beers, you know what I mean? He and I barely know each other. Yeah, no problem. It sure looks like youâre loosening up. You actually look happier. No, I notice it on your face. I really donât want to be the one telling you this, but maybe itâs because youâre not around her. Yeah, I know you like her. …Ugh. I know you think you want to marry her, but from an outsiderâs perspective, I really think t- okay, fine. Iâll stop. Iâm just saying. Iâm just looking out for you. I just like you.
Do you like me? No, like, really. Sometimes it feels like youâre drifting away from me. Yes, really. I donât know. Want another drink? Yeah, I know you shouldnât too, but itâs a party. There you go. Here, have another.
Oh, I donât know. I was just word vomiting. I dunno. Sometimes it feels like you and I are drifting apart. I just want to salvage it. Yeah, it really feels like that. Nah, I donât want to drink tonight, Iâll get another one for you though. I donât know what would make it better. I guess I just miss how it used to be. Yes, with the sex, okay? Yes, I miss the sex. Donât you miss it too? Donât think about how much you drank. Donât even think about her. Sheâs mistreating you. Yes, Iâm sure she is. Well, fine, you can still be with her but you can have sex with me again. I want it. I bet you want it too. Are you sure? Yeah, there we go, you can admit it was good. Believe me, it was so good for me too. Hey. If you want, we can do it again. Itâs a party, do you know anyone here? No oneâs going to notice, theyâre not going to talk.
Damn right you want it too. Letâs go. Closest bedroom we can find. Fuck yes, here we go. Take off your clothes. Mm, nice. Just as sexy as I remembered. You take good care of yourself. Now take good care of me.
Yes, I consent, dammit. Just hurry up and stick it in me. Fuck yes. You have no idea how long Iâve been waiting for this. It feels so good to have you inside me again. I donât even care if youâre drunk. How much of this are you really going to remember tomorrow? Just take me. Take me like you did before. Against a wall, doggystyle, yes, all the positions. No, shut up, for one night I donât want to hear this guilt crap. Just rail me. Ream me. Fuck me so hard I forget my own name. Fuck yes⊠just keep pounding me. I want to cum tonight so badly. Yes, good, good, fuck, keep goingâŠ
God, I missed this. Doesnât it feel good to have your cock inside me again? I bet you missed this just as much as I did. Doesnât my pussy feel so good wrapped around you? Nothing like a familiar place, huh? I bet you love having sex with me. I bet it feels way better than anyone else youâve been with. Even your girlfriend. We just have such a connection. I feel so close to you. I want us to be as close as possible. I want to keep fucking you like an animal forever. Fuck, your cock feels so good in me. It feels so wonderful. I want this feeling to last forever.
Here it comes. Oh my god, here it comes⊠ahh, fuck yes. So satisfying. …Hello? Well, I guess I could have seen that coming. Should I be next to you when you wake up or should I risk it and leave now..?
Hey! Good to hear from you. Did you enjoy the party?? How much do you remember? Oh, so you remember that, huh? Hey. Breathe. Yeah, it was a crazy night. You were drinking a lot, itâs understandable. No, once you got drunk you were practically begging me to do it again. I donât know, maybe because you were drunk your inhibitions were lowered and you just subconsciously wanted it this whole time. Stopped you? I only tried stopping you at first but you really wanted it and I wanted it too, okay? Yes, of course I was drunk too. Yeah, I drank a lot that night. I donât remember too much. I donât know if Iâd want to do it again. After all, you have a girlfriend, right?
Really? Youâd want to do it again? Wow. What changed? Well, I guess thatâs all it takes. No, of course this wasnât planned, I just wanted to go to a party with my friend, but what happened happened, we canât change that ,and thereâs no point in worrying about whether it makes us bad people.
How is your girlfriend, anyway? Oh, really? Why? Yeesh, thatâs not good. Did you talk to her like I said? Yeah, if she responds like that it definitely means she has something to hide. Iâm on your side here. I was never sure about her. Iâm just being honest, it always seemed like she was hesitant. Or hiding something. Honestly, I wouldnât rule out her being straight-up manipulative. I bet sheâll try to break up with you soon.
I know thatâs not what you want. Honestly it might be for the best though. Youâre so worried, sheâs causing you so much stress. Youâre even sleeping with someone else. So is she, I bet. I donât know. I just get that feeling from her.
Hey, howâs it going? Itâs so good to hang out with you again. Howâs your girlfriend? No. She didnât. She broke up with you? Why?? Oh my God, Iâm so sorry. Thatâs got to be so hard to deal with. How long ago did it happen, what did she say? …Well that sounds like a weird answer. I guess she didnât know her own feelings. You know what, youâre a free man now. You deserve better than her.
What? Me? No, Iâm not really about that life. Iâm happy being single. …Huh? Oh. Yeah. About us. Listen, itâs nothing personal, but I think Iâm going to take a break from sex on a whole for a bit, if thatâs okay. Yeah. No, nothing you did. Youâre fine. I just am figuring out myself. Mental health is my passion. Yeah. Are you going to be okay? You matter. Youâre so valid.
Hey! Yeah, sorry. No, Iâve just been so busy. Trying to finish this paper as we speak, can we talk another time? Thanks.
Hi! Thatâs a lot of messages, what do you need? Oh. No, Iâve just been super busy. Yup. Mhm. Iâve got to go, bye!
You caught me just as I was going to sleep. Yup! Oh, youâre not doing well? Well, be sure to breathe. Yeah. Youâre valid. Goodnight!
Hey. Yup! Yeah. You know it. Iâm actually so sleepy. I know itâs only 8 but I had a long day. Uh-huh⊠uh-huh⊠Goodnight.
What is it? What? No. Oh my God no. Donât. Do you need me to come over? Please donât hurt yourself. Youâre valid, and youâre loved. So many people care so much about you. Please just calm down. Can you give me the knife? Thank you. You know what? Letâs go out for dinner tomorrow. You and me. We can talk.
Hey! Itâs good to see you. Letâs go. What do you think youâre going to order? Ah, nice. Thatâs a good choice. Iâm just going to go for the salad, I already ate. …Well, the most important thing here is that weâre spending time together, I wasnât really thinking about the food. So, how are things? Oh. Iâm sorry. Do you want to talk to me about them? Maybe that will help. Mental health is my – yeah, exactly.
Wow. That all sounds like a lot. That must be so tough for you to deal with. At least you have your friends as a support network, right? No? Shit, really? Thatâs not nice of them to abandon you in your time of need. What about your ex, are you still good with her?
I donât know about that. I wouldnât know how sheâs doing better than you. Well, yeah, we are hanging out a lot, but we hung out a lot in the months leading up to you two breaking up as well. Of course I didnât know anything about that. I was shocked when I heard about it from you. Yeah. I had no clue. No way of knowing at all.
And I certainly didnât cause it.
Well, she seems okay. No, youâre right, not really. She seems stressed. When weâre hanging out sheâs a lot more physical lately. I guess thatâs because thatâs how she communicates with me. So, what are you going to do? Ah, youâre still gunning for her, huh? You hope to get back with her someday?
Thatâs cute.
Wait, it wonât work? Why not? You think she has a crush on someone else? Oh, excuse me, you know she does. Wow, even as exes, you two communicate so much. So mature of you. What? Me? She has a crush on me? Wow. I had absolutely no clue. No idea at all. I wasnât meaning to lead her on, no. Thatâs got to suck so much for you.
She certainly is attractive though, isnât she?
Huh? Nothing. Just mumbling to myself. Yeah, this is weird for me too. Yeah, I bet it would kill you to see her with someone else when your feelings are this strong. Thatâs perfectly justified, youâre valid.
What? Youâre worried? That sheâll end u- with me? Hey. Breathe. Let me take your hand. I promise you. That is never going to happen. She and I wonât be together. Okay? Okay. Are you finished your meal? Letâs take you home.
Here we are. Yeah, I can hang out with you for a few minutes. Yeah, I wonât bring anything up with her next time I see her, donât worry. Nothing is going to happen anyway, like I said, remember? But, how are you feeling? Like, deep down? Wow, really, still? You want to kiss me?
Damn right.
Hm? Nothing. I donât think itâs right for us to be doing anything like that. Youâre not of sound mind right now. Youâre upset. Mental health is my passion. You need to just have a clear head. Breathe. Live for you. Play some video games or do something thatâs fun for you. Hanging out with her? I dunno. From my talks with her, it sounds like she needs space. Oh, trust me, I know she does. Yeah, and honestly, I bet if you give her space now, sheâll come back to you when sheâs ready. Yeah, just give her as much space as you can. Itâll pay off in the long term. Honestly? Donât even message her. Give it about a week. I bet sheâll really respect that. Yeah, letâs work together on this. I am your love guru, precisely! Okay, I have to go. Youâre going to be safe tonight, right? Good. I appreciate you too.
Busy! Another time.
Sorry, I canât reply right now. Bye!
Hey. Breathe. No, youâre important. Youâre valid. Whatâs up? Hey, itâs okay. I figured it was an emergency if you called me at 3am. Okay, Iâll just stay up with you then. Because you matter. Letâs work together here. Put the knife down. Thereâs still so much you need to do with your life. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for staying here, youâre so brave.
And so manipulable.
Are you going to make smart choices? Yeah. That sounds good. Go to bed, Iâll talk to you tomorrow. Yes, I promise.
Sorry, schoolwork caught up with me. Another time? Bye!
Hey, whatâs going on? Your text said it was an emergency, I came over as quick as possible, whatâs up?
…Oh. So you found out, huh? I donât know how long. Maybe like a week? We didnât plan it. I canât help my feelings. We were just hanging out and we just⊠happened to kiss.
Sheâs a good kisser.
Yeah, I know that I said it wouldn’t happen. Sometimes these things just happen. Well she wanted it too. Itâs not like you own her. Sheâs her own person, she can make her own choices.
Or acquiesce to my choices.
Itâs totally valid that youâre angry. I donât know whatâs going to happen as a result of this. Iâd like to stay friends but I totally understand if you donât want to be friends.
I bet youâd feel too guilty to cut me out of your life though, wouldnât you?
Yeah, this wasnât a one-time thing for us. …A couple other times. Yeah. Once in her car, and – okay, right, right, you donât need to know the details. Iâm sorry.
God, seeing you with this broken face is better than all the sex I could ever get from you.
No, I wouldnât say I love her. Yeah, I know you do. Yeah, we probably wonât last as a couple. I mean⊠Iâm not even out. You wouldnât out me to the world, would you? Thank you. That means so much. I need to stay in the closet for now. My parents would never understand. But yeah, Iâm graduating soon anyways. We wonât last. Hey, try if you want to. But for now, this is what she wants. I wouldnât want to disrespect her feelings either. Thank you for understanding. Iâm sure you will have a talk with her about this.
But not before I tell her some terrible things about you and reveal how awful you were to her so that she reacts poorly to you confronting her.
Yeah, I want whatâs best for you. Iâm sorry I made you so upset. I want nothing more than to be a good friend for you. So, uh⊠howâs your day been? …Wow, that was hostile. Okay, okay, Iâll leave. Call me if you think youâre going to do anything stupid. Mental health is important.
And so predictable.
Hey. Itâs been a day since we talked. You doing okay? Oh. That bad, huh? Iâm sorry. Did the talk with her go poorly? Oh no. Iâm sorry. I had hoped that it would go better.
This must make you feel so terrible. You must be thinking so irrationally. You must want out. I bet you have some ideas, donât you?
Yeah. I understand. Um, Iâm sorry, but I have to go. I have plans. Yeah, she and I have plans. Weâre going to the library, thatâs all. Look, I get this is complicated, but this is just the way things are. Open communication is key. Weâll all get through this and be closer than ever.
Iâm lying. Weâre not going to the library. Weâre going to my place. She and I are going to make out on my bed. Your ex, the one you made a point about having a low sex drive, is going to attack my mouth like she needs me. Sheâs going to run her hands up and down my body. Sheâs going to want me so badly. Sheâs going to go farther with me in a week than you got with her in six months. Doesnât that drive you crazy? Weâre going to fuck. Sheâs going to taste her first pussy, and sheâs going to get fucking addicted to it. Sheâs going to want nothing more than to please me, sheâs going to want me so fucking badly, and sheâs not going to spare even a single thought for you. Sheâs going to love every second of it, more than she ever did with you.
Yeah, I can see youâre still mad at me. I want to move past it soon too. Go out for dinner with me this week, okay? …Okay, no, sorry. I wonât suggest it again. Iâll text you, okay? Donât do anything rash.
And if you do, I left a knife on the kitchen counter for you.
Where are you?? Your housemates said they havenât seen you all day. What do you mean, you took off in your car and found a place to die?! What the fuck does that mean? Your ex is calling the police. Yes, sheâs with me.
Sheâs always with me now. Never leaving my side, like an obedient puppy.
No, stay on the line with me. Please, donât go. Weâre so worried for you. Donât kill yourself. Please, your ex is here, sheâs crying. Sheâs so stressed. She cares about you so much. She still does.
And for the next while, she wonât be able to think about you without thinking of this, how much it scared her, and how she needs to push you away to stop being hurt like this.
Hey. I heard the police found you. Weâre so glad youâre alive and safe. Youâre in the hospital? Thatâs probably for the best. No, you canât talk to your ex. She got so stressed sheâs in bed sick. Sheâs requested not to talk to anyone for the next few days. You know how she is.
But I know her better. Iâve gotten to know her so well over the last few days. She requested to not talk to anyone but me. Iâm the one thatâs there to comfort her. She associates you with pain, and me with relief. Just how I want it.
Howâs the hospital? Oh, bad, huh? Uh-huh? Uh-huh. Wow, that sounds so rough. Mhm. Hey, Iâve gotta go. See ya!
Your ex has gotten better, and sheâs feeling well enough to have some fun with me. So thatâs what Iâm gonna do, instead of talk to you. As you lie in the hospital feeling like no one is there for you, Iâm going to be grinding on your exâs tongue. As you sit there with no one to visit you but psychiatrists, Iâm going to strap on a dildo and give it to your girlfriend so she screams my name. My name. As you sit on the uncomfortable beds staring up at fluorescent lights, Iâm going to sit in my queen-sized bed, spooning her, and rubbing her pussy until she canât take it anymore, grins back at me, and mounts me so I can see all the lust her eyes have for me.
Hey. Yeah, I agree, we should talk about how things are going. Itâs been a week since the hospital released you, huh? How have you been doing since? I was told it was a miracle you survived.
And not what I planned, but Iâm improvising.
Yeah, she and I are whatever. Listen, um, I donât think itâs right for me to just talk to you about our private life. Weâre in a relationship now, and it doesnât feel right to talk about my girlfriend like this in front of you. Yeah, weâre⊠decent. Weâre content. I know you asked if we were, âhappy,â but Iâm just not going to answer, okay?! God, please let it go. Just⊠breathe.
I know you. I know how much these scenarios swirl around your head. I know that the less information I give you, the more youâre going to think about what the answer could be, and jump to worst-case scenario. Do you honestly think I wasnât going to use that to my advantage? So every time I give you a vague answer and disappear with her, youâre going to think of us making out and grinding up against each otherâs bodies. Youâre going to think of us locked in a sixty-nine on our bed, passionately enjoying each other. Licking each other until we cum. Telling each other weâve never had orgasms that intense. Get it? Never. As in, you never gave her one that good. She belongs with me. She certainly doesnât belong with you.
Oh, you still have classes with her, huh? Thatâs gotta be weird. Sheâs being distant, huh? Iâm sorry, but I canât control her feelings.
You canât paint a new face on a puppet without ruining the original face, but that doesnât mean you canât pull the strings.
Yeah. Look, the future will be the future. Just accept that this is how things are, okay? I have to go.
Iâm sure you wonât be dying inside the next few days. Donât forget to Google how much acetaminophen is enough to cause an overdose. You have a full jar of headache medicine. Use it.
Hey. Cool to bump into you. Howâve you been? Ah. Right. How are your friends? Oh, weird. They think you treated her badly? Cheated? Well, I mean, I guess you didâŠ
I wonder how they found out about that.
They didnât know who you cheated with, right?! Okay, good. Well, I mean, I talk to them too. Yeah, Iâm pretty close with them. We had a studying session the other day and that one friend was making so many funny jokes, you should have been there⊠Anyway, you canât tell them about your ex and me. Iâm not out of the closet. It wouldnât be right.
How convenient that this lines up with your moral code. I know that no matter what I do, youâd never make me come out of the closet.
Yeah. I have to go. See ya.
Guess who Iâm meeting up with? Guess whoâs going to rush to my house with me, and as soon as the door closes weâre going to kiss passionately against it, and remove each otherâs shirts, and get right to work teasing each other with our mouths. She loves it. Sheâs insatiable. She craves sex at least three times a day. I can barely keep up with her.
Hey, itâs 3am, whatâs wrong? What? You overheard her telling people? Well⊠thatâs her right. You called me for that? Yeah, I get you canât tell people and she can and that feels unfair. But sheâs the one in the relationship. And sheâs been so stressed lately. Mental health is my passion. Iâve been taking such good care of her. Yeah, I get that youâve been stressed too since you havenât been able to talk to anyone about this.
I ensured that.
No, you still canât tell anyone. Please? That would be such a betrayal. My parents would kill me. They would never understand. I have no clue what they would do to me.
Odds are, nothing. My parents are pretty easygoing. But hey, you never met them. Unlike your exâs parents, the ones you liked, and they liked you. Too bad youâll never see them again.
Well, Iâm not responsible for your exâs behavior. You need to stop calling me with this stuff. Youâre getting obsessed. Youâre being paranoid. I have no idea where this came from. Itâs really weird. I need to go. Bye.
I can hear it in your voice. Youâre cracking.
Busy. Later!
Youâre obsessed.
Canât talk right now!
Youâre looking for any sign of wrongdoing from me. Youâre looking for anything you can use to turn the tides your way. After all, youâre feeling helpless, powerless. When you tried taking control, that made things worse. When you sat back and became complacent, that made things worse. Both doing nothing and doing something only makes this situation worse for you. Just how I designed it.
Hey, do you have your exâs old book? Yeah, that one. She likes it a lot and wants it back. Why didnât she ask herself? Um, awkward⊠she kind of didnât want to talk to you directly. Sorry.
And your obsession landed you a bingo. Yeah, Iâm getting dick on the side. She doesnât know. Of course she doesnât know. Sheâs be mortified if she found out I was cheating on her. Even in our secret relationship. But thanks to my lie about the book, you donât feel comfortable even talking to her, let alone being the still-in-love ex telling his ex that her new perfect girlfriend is cheating on her. Do you think sheâll even believe you? No you donât. She might, but letâs keep that between us. She doesnât even want the book back, and she would be delighted if you tried to still be her friend, I just did my research well and whatever makes you look pathetic is good with me.
Hey! Oh, youâre inviting us to a party? Hey, thanks for trying to move past what happened a few months ago. That means a lot. Unfortunately, weâve got plans.
Plans to eat each other out like starved animals over every piece of furniture we can find. Sheâs so insatiable. She wants it so badly from me. Even the right look from me gets her wet. And I give her that look often. I like her body. I like using it. I like having my fun with it. After all, I told you⊠weâre never going to last. So why not have a little fun corrupting her and using her as my little plaything until I move and tell her things are too âcomplicatedâ? Of course Iâll bring you up as a major reason why, just so her subconscious despises you that little bit extra. Just so you have no chance.
Hey! Just going to class. Bye!
You never had a chance, ever since I decided I was done having sex with you. You were boring. Her? She was innocent, she was malleable, she was fascinating. So are your friends. We hang out all the time now. I told each of them secretly about my relationship. They know. They support us. We like to talk about how good the relationship is going behind closed doors. Your friends are all so glad sheâs with me now, instead of with such a disrespectful, melodramatic cheater.
Hey. Yup. Bye.
Your life is pretty sweet. Iâd know, I have it now. What do you have? Nothing, except a relationship with a bottle and a knife. Both get friendlier every day. Iâm so glad youâre making friends.
Hi! Bye.
You have nothing left. I saw to that. See, in bed youâre boring. But as a case study? Youâre fucking fascinating. Mental health is my passion. I loved watching you. I wanted to see how much it would take. I crave pushing you over the edge. Iâm enamored with seeing how much it takes to finally push you to kill yourself.
âŠ
You have no friends. No partner. No way to push yourself back up so you can start again. Every time you tried, I knew just what to do to push you back down while seeming like I was on your side. Just to see that broken fucking look on your face. God, I could get high off of that.
âŠ
Now do it. End it all. Kill yourself. You know you want to. You crave your death almost as badly as I do. I see it on your face every day – youâre getting closer. Iâve still got my eye on you. I never wanted you to know you had the upper hand.
âŠ
Because it was all true. Every suspicion. I took her from you. She doesnât even think about you now. Youâre going to kill yourself tonight and tomorrow as we spoon after having sex, sheâs going to bring you up and ask if itâs weird that sheâs not feeling as sad as she should. And Iâll ask her what âshouldâ means, and weâll talk for a bit before we find better uses for our tongues again.
âŠ
And sheâll never know I cheated on her. Or ruined her life the way I ruined yours. I wonder how much of a wreck sheâll be after youâre dead and I break up with her a month later and move away. Maybe then sheâll realize just how little she has left in her life. I bet sheâll kill herself too. Iâm almost sad I wonât be around to see that one. But at least I got to watch you deteriorate. Because nowâs the time. Youâre going to do it. Today. And no one will even care. Except me. Iâll be enthralled. Thatâs the best thing you deserve, you scum.
âŠ
Breathe. For the last time, breathe.
_____________________________________________________
Author’s Note: Hello! Thank you for reading that… mess. I wrote this piece spontaneously when I was in a haze a few days ago, so it hasn’t eaten into my writing schedule. The next pieces should be coming out soon. I hope you enjoyed the story, and if you didn’t, I completely understand.
If you enjoy these stories and want to support them, please consider visiting my Patreon at patreon dot com slash Bashfulscribe. My financial situation as always is a little tough and I’d love to dedicate more time to writing so every bit of support helps. If you can’t or don’t want to, no worries, my writing is never behind a paywall. Thank you for any support you give, even just by giving me your time and reading this story. That means the world to me. I’ll be sure to keep writing for readers like you.